House Arrest #3 - HAROLD is Sick (and Dumb)

House Arrest #3

SCENE: RICK and CHRIS enter the bathroom where a very sick HAROLD is lying in a nest in the tub.

RICK:
Hey, big guy. You feeling any better?

HAROLD:
Kinda, feel cold. Can’t really sleep. Pretty uncomfortable.

CHRIS:
Are you still throwing up?

HAROLD:
I throw up all the time

RICK:
That’s awful! We only have one toilet.

HAROLD:
I just feel really weak, I keep falling asleep. I am just wondering if you guys could maybe give me some medicine?

CHRIS:
Well we only have a certain amount of money and there isn’t really any wiggle room in the budget for HAROLD medicine.

HAROLD:
Well; I mean, you could move some things around. There’s probably some things that can be moved around.

CHRIS:
It’s very rigid, I’ve structured it myself. HAROLD; I’m in charge of the weekly budget and I can assure you everything on this budget is essential and cannot be moved.

(Cut to numerous shots of CHRIS using bug spray, tons of shots, shots of all the bottles lying around ,something that gets across he spends a TON of money on bug spray.)

RICK:
I have a few extra bucks, I can run out and grab you some food if you want.

HAROLD:
I’ll take an Oh! Henry.

RICK:
OH! No you won’t. You know what? I am not even all that convinced you need food.

CHRIS:
I am not even all that convinced you aren’t milking this whole thing.


HAROLD:
I am not really getting anything out of this though, you guys aren’t really helping me.

RICK:
I put cushions in the tub for you

HAROLD:
No you didn’t

RICK:
Didn’t I?

CHRIS:
No I wouldn’t allow it, that tub is filthy. It’s a waste of cushions.

RICK:
Well as long as you’re comfortable HAROLD (RICK walks away) that’s all that matters.

CHRIS and HAROLD are left in the washroom.

CHRIS:
Well alright.

CHRIS moves towards the toilet, he closes the shower curtain on HAROLD and sits down on the toilet.

HAROLD:
Maybe you could hold that until later

CHRIS:
I’d rather not, HAROLD do you have anything for me to read? Actually if you do; read it out loud for me. I don’t want to touch anything you’ve touched.

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